Kamis, 24 Juni 2010

Speechless

Hey, I just wanna say sorry
If I have a mistakes
I just wanna say, please do come home soon
I wonder I can see your smile again

Did you know that, your smile cover my every dreams
but why you leave me?
why you change to me
I know you never need me
I just want to know your reason

I don't know what I want to write
I'm so speechless
and guilty

I feel so empty, always feel so empty and lonely

Kamis, 17 Juni 2010

Springless Year

I think that I have missing something in this year
I don't feel that blossom will developing after this long long winter
It's been a year I haven't meet another spring
So I'm not going to city park because of this something strange


Hahah, obviously  I miss have a laughter with you
That "blossom" mean something live in my mind
I know I haven't find another spring anymore after that times
yeaah, "The Blossom of Mind" can't live if didn't meet a spring


This summer I'm gonna melt away
This summer air gonna burst me up
It's too much pain that I must shared with you
But I know you love another guy
And that guy are one of my best pal
So I don't think that I wanna you know that I love you


Did you know that I always using this fake smile?
Did you know that I always using this fake laugh?


I don't know how to say
Everything gonna mess if I can't tell you
But there's more a mess if I tell you
yeaah I admit that I wanna say...


"I love you, would you be my spring in my mind"
"So that blossom won't die again again and again"
"This winter is too cold for me to live in, and I'm breezing"
"I need something warm, yeah warmness on the soul"


yeah, I need something to lock my pain
mmmh oh yeaah I have a principle that say
"What will you get with being envy with each other? Everybody have their own pathway for life"
but now I fell I wanna say


"Hey, I'm envy, so what will I get?"


and the answer is "NOTHING"


I never get something I want
I never get something I need
yeaah its too hurts to say
my life's so pathetic
I always learned how to being "helplessness person"


But today, I know I must facing that pathetic truth
I will always watching you,
your words, your step, your laugh, and everything
I will keep this "memories of summer"
Memories that makes me regret of have a hope
I won't hold that rope of hope anymore
But I know you will have a great blast with my best pal
yeah He's the best for you






Yeah I hope one day I will find another spring
and I hope you will read this letter

Kamis, 03 Juni 2010

Embun

Pagi mulai berdetak. Semu gelap mulai beranjak Entah mengapa mataku tiba-tiba terfokus pada titik embun pagi yang mulai menetes.

Kupijak rumput hijau, seakan saling menyapa dan saling bercerita, dan tak lama setelahnya aku pun mulai berbaring. Seketika air mataku menetes, tapi kuanggap hanyalah embun pagi.

Tak kusangka indah mentari pagi tak seindah hidupku. Penuh beban, noda, dan keluh kesah. Seakan seperti embun yang menetes tiada henti, air mataku pun bercucuran menyeruak dan mulai menggenang.

Ya, itu adalah genangan cerita pahit yang kualami sendiri. Seakan kepik merah pun tak iba melihatku, mereka berterbangan lalu lalang dengan indahnya menikmati indahnya pagi.

Mentari mulai naik, memancarkan cahaya jingganya, tetapi semakin terisak aku melihatnya. Sisi kelam yang mulai membunuh sukmaku, karena tak kunjung padam putus asaku.

Kepalaku mulai membeku. Nafasku pun mulai tidak teratur. Memori mati tentang kesendirian tak kunjung hilang. Tak kuasa aku bendung air mata, tak ada pundak yang bisa aku jadikan sandaran. Sandaran beban, asa, dan rasa ingin berbagi cerita. Rumput dan dedaunan mulai bergoyang tertiup angin, seakan  membelai mengusap air mata.

Menghibur diri sambil tersenyum hampa, mungkin hanya itu yang bisa ku lakukan. Seakan musim panas ini akan berakhir begitu saja, tanpa ada pijakan rangkulan yang membuat hidupku secerah terik mentari di siang hari.

Gelap dan buta, mungkin itu yang  melukiskan isi hatiku.


"Ya Tuhan, semoga pagi esok genangan air mata itu sudah tiada..."